Setting goals has become the most cliché thing, especially this time of the year when everyone is talking about setting goals and thinking of setting goals.
But do you think it is all about setting goals?
Yes, it is extremely important to set goals, but how many of the goals we set at the beginning of the year get fulfilled? How many of your dreams and aspirations, that you have at the beginning of January, turn out to be just some desires, that most likely will get postponed until you’ll decide to totally loose hope?
Unfortunately, statistics say that most of the goals we set on the 1st of January are more likely to fail than goals that we set on any other day of the year. This is because these goals are fuelled by temporary enthusiasm, rather than a true, seated desire.
What is the point of setting goals then? How do we know our goals come from a deep desire?
Not long ago, I saw a video in which Vishen Lakiani, the founder of Mindvalley was making the difference between two types of goals. End Goals and Mean Goals. He talks about the End Goals as being the goals that lead to happiness where the Means Goals are the goals that we set because of the society rules to get to happiness.
It is interesting when you start thinking of that. I really resonated with this idea.
You can easily differentiate between the two types of goals. The Means Goals are goals that we try to achieve because we believe that once accomplished something will occur; these goals usually have attached to them the word “so”. A typical example is: “I will lose weight, so I can look better”. We think that by reaching that goal something else will happen so we can be happier. But, in reality, we are never happy. Most of the times, we struggle and see the goal as something very hard to achieve. So, somehow, we become more unhappy.
When we are talking about the End goals, it’s about goals that are directly linked to our heart. End goals are goals that excite us, and only the pursuit of them makes us happy. End goals are linked to feelings and excitement about having what we wish for. When you think about an End goal there is a strong feeling of joy about it. It makes you happy only to think of it. Nothing else needs to happen. Think of the goal “travelling”. You don’t really need to travel to feel happier. Only the thought that you will be travelling makes you already happy.
The truth is, we often set Means Goals, goals which society wants us to achieve, or goals which we believe important to us, because once we will tick those goals off the list, the world will see us like great achievers.
If you have already done a list of goals for 2017, I encourage you take some time and analyse your list. Are your goals Means goals or End goals? To help you differentiate between these two, here are a few tips. Ask yourself:
Are my goals something I really desire?
Or are they what my parents wish them to be?
Or what my school taught them to be?
Or what society expects them to be?
Why is it important to me to achieve these goals?
Far too often we get influenced by external factors about the sort of goals we’re expected to strive for in life. We are encouraged to set goals that rarely ever sing to our soul.
The goals that we really want to set are goals that include amazing experiences, continuous growth, and wonderful contribution to the world. Setting your goals based on these three areas will help you experience huge fulfilment.
You will want to think of these questions:
Experiences: What beautiful experiences do I want to feel in my life?
Growth: How do I want to grow as a human being?
Contribution: How do I want to contribute to the world well-being?
My personal experience makes me believe that happiness consists in having beautiful experiences while helping others and giving yourself the opportunity to grow. If you are setting goals because you want to be happier, why not try to set goals worthy of your soul?
At this point, if you feel ready to rewrite your list of goals, feel free. I had to do it, too. It felt bad at the beginning but wonderful at the end. When I did this exercise, I realised that something has totally changed. I started to follow dreams that were of great value for me. The joy of achieving what really matters to your heart and soul is hard to explain. But, I am sure, everyone knows this feeling. The extraordinary feeling of pure joy because you are honouring your soul.
Until the next time, I encourage you to set big goals, scary goals. Goals that are true to your heart and soul, goals that once you will have achieved them your life will never be the same again. It is your right and your duty to dream big. So, I am counting on you! But make sure you are doing what is most important, take action to make your goals come true.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Was this helpful?
Enjoy your day and remember to always dream big!
Much love and appreciation,